Dear Pastor,

Happy summer to you. I am a regular reader of your column and I am having a problem; it is a long time it has been bothering me. I have a very small penis and I am 30. Because of that, I am afraid to ask any girl for sex. I have three brothers and they are married. They know my problem, but they are telling me that I should not make that bother me because some men have smaller penises and they are married.

Pastor, when I put on my pants and I look down my front is flat, flat. And when my penis is erect, it is only three and a half inches long. And I heard that some women like men who have five and six and even nine inches. I am very lonely and I would like to have children. I have even tried to stretch my penis, but that hasn't helped.

There is a nice girl at church who likes me very much. Sometimes I go to bed and dream about her. I gave her a ride in my car and she was even touching me. But every time I think of this girl and getting married, I get nervous. I want to overcome this problem. What can I do to have my penis grow bigger?

R.R.

Dear R.R.,

Please do not think that I am trying to insult you because I am not. If your penis is three-and-a-half inches when erect, you need not worry. It should be able to do a good job if you learn how to make love. In lovemaking, it is not just the penis that is at work. You see sir, lovemaking is an art and a man could have a very large penis and still not know how to make love. He might be a good 'jammer' but not a good lover. All some men know how to do is 'jam.'

Accept what your brothers have told you and try to get over your fear of not being able to satisfy a woman in bed. I do not know whether you have ever discussed your concerns with a medical doctor. Perhaps you need to do so and be assured that all is well.

You feel the need to get married and this young woman is showing interest in you. You are interested in her also. Stop behaving as if you don't have any confidence in yourself. Don't reject this lady. Go out with her and get to know her. Don't tell her about your problem. After you have seen a medical doctor and you get his opinion, make an appointment to see a family counsellor. Discuss with him/her your lack of self-confidence. You probably will need to have a few counselling sessions.

Whenever you decide to get married, your counsellor might suggest that you use some sex aides. I am not saying that you would need that; I am only saying that your counsellor would advise you.

Pastor