Dear Pastor,

I am 44. I have five children but only one for my husband. My husband left and went to America when my baby was only six months old. He told me that he was going to seek a better life for us, but he has never come back to Jamaica. If he came back, we have never seen him. When he went up, he got a job and he used to send money until the money stopped coming. I wrote him at the address that I had for him and none of the letters came back. I used to call him but he changed his number so I couldn't reach him anymore.

I heard that he was living with an American woman. Then, one day, I got some divorce papers from him. I never signed them. He divorced me. Pastor, I am now in church, and I met a man and we love each other and my children love him. This man is helping me. His wife is dead and he is 15 years older than I am. His children are grown but they love me. We are even having sex.

My minister told me that I cannot get married because my husband is still alive and I would be committing fornication as long as he is alive. I don't know what to do because I don't want to lose this man. I don't have my own home, but I am going to live with this man after we get married. My pastor said he cannot marry us because it is against the Church. I am asking you if you can do the marriage for us.

L.S.

Dear L.S.,

Your pastor is only carrying out the rules of his denomination. You know that it is better to marry than to burn. And right now you are burning with passion. Therefore, I would suggest that this gentleman and you make an appointment to see me. Bring your divorce absolute and have the man bring his former wife death certificate. Bring identifications for both of you and we would set the date for your marriage.

I am not here to condemn anybody. I am here to be of help to those who are in need. And if this man and you are in love; therefore, I do not see any reason why both of you cannot get married.

Pastor