Dear Pastor,

I am desperately in need of your help. I have two children and life is very stressful. I am beautiful and intelligent. I have my subjects. When I left school my mother was unable to send me to college and was unable to support me and my other siblings. I met a guy and we became friends, but I could not continue with him because he had too many women. He finally went abroad and got married over there. To this very day I love him because he was my first boyfriend. I am in my 20s.

I believe he got married to get his papers. He does not correspond with me, but I have a good relationship with his parents. Sometimes I wonder if we will ever get together again. Since this guy and I broke up, I have had sex with lots of other men. They are older and mature, but they are wild. I read my Bible and pray every day.

My first child's father was in his forties and he too never settled down. He was also wild. I had to seek medical attention because he gave me STI. I could have had an abortion when I became pregnant but I didn't. He wanted me to terminate the pregnancy. He said I was a fool for not doing so. He never supported the child.

Then I got involved with another man and he got a job for me. The pay was small. I started to have sex with this man. He, too, was very wild so I left him. And I got involved with a man who could be my father, but this relationship did not turn out well either. He was married.

I became involved with a Christian young man. He did not want me to do certain things so we broke up. Pastor, I want you to pray for me. I am tired of getting hurt. The only thing all these men wanted from me was sex. I want to get an education and help my children and myself.

Frustrated Mother

Dear Frustrated Mother,

You have tried your very best to help yourself, but your downfall has been you believe men easily. Everything they tell you, you believe. And you fail to discern truth from lies. All the men that you have met tell you how much they loved and cared for you and you believed. You didn't understand that their aim was not to help you, but to go to bed with you. That was their number one priority. That is why they continued to have other women.

I don't want you to condemn yourself. You are not a bad girl. You are just unfortunate and you have had to learn the hard way. But you believe in God and a change is going to come if you continue to trust Him. You are still young. You should try your best not to have any more children. Learn to protect yourself if you are determined to have sex. Don't be too quick to believe everything a man tells you. Remember, most men are liars. Even if you have to do daywork to help yourself, do so. But please don't sell yourself to get money.

Pastor