Dear Pastor,

I am an 18-year-old female and I am also a regular reader of your column. I have been having a big problem. I can't seem to stick with one guy. I have been talking to a guy for almost two years now. He doesn't live in my parish. I only get to spend time with him for a week on every holiday I get. I think I am deeply in love with him.

My problem is that whenever I am away from him I seem to find myself with a lot of other men. I have them for financial support and for intimacy because my lover doesn't work. I find it very hard to tell them the truth about the kind of person I am.

I almost got pregnant two times, not with my lover. There are a lot of men in my district who want to have me as their girlfriend and I can't seem to tell them no. I flirt with them until they pick up that I don't love them, or if not I just keep on using them.

I think I have AIDS, but it doesn't bother me. I have an unusual discharge for about a year now. It is unbearable knowing that I have been doing wrong and can't seem to stop. I really need your help.

Keep up the good work.

R.

Dear R.,

You have admitted that you have been promiscuous and that you have been selling your body to the men in your district and to others. You have a steady boyfriend but you don't see him very often and he is not able to help you financially but you love him very much.

You are developing a very bad reputation because all the men know that you are easy to get. You do not discriminate. And it is very sad that you seem to be having unprotected sex and you believe that you have AIDS. I hope that you are not correct. But you know that something is wrong and you need medical attention. You are also experiencing an unusual discharge and your condition will worsen unless you see a doctor as soon as possible.

You are weak towards men. You have to learn that it is unhealthy to move from one man to the other and to offer sexual favours for money.

I suggest that after going to the doctor that you meet with a family counsellor for professional help. You should also cease having sex and follow the advice of your doctor.

Pastor