Please help me. I am currently living in the United States but I am a Jamaican. There is this guy who says he is in love with me. He lives in Jamaica. He sometimes can't afford to buy phonecards to call me, but he tries to whenever he can. He says he works sometimes. I have known him ever since I was a young child. He is 23 and I am 20.

The first time he called me, he told me that he loved me. I also told him that I loved him. I knew he always had a thing for me. He has a lot of good qualities, but the problem is I am just not that into him. I told him that I am a virgin and I would like him to wait on me because I am currently going to college and I don't want anything to get in the way of my education. He says he would wait, but I am still not attracted to him.

His education level is barely high school. Whenever I talk to him and hear the errors in his english, it kills my mood. He can barely afford things for himself. I don't want to sound like I am proud, but I want a guy who has more going for himself, one who can take care of both of us.

I don't know what to do. The guy I really like has a girlfriend. He likes me too. I have known him since i was young. He says he has always liked me. The qualities he has aren't the best, but I told him about them, and he says he is trying to change. He says he doesn't want a long-distance relationship or he would be with me. He says he wouldn't want to cheat on me. We are in contact almost every day. He says he hopes to be with me one day, and I am the kind of girl he would marry. and I hope to be with him, too. He says he is busy at times, but he tries to contact me whenever he can. Sometimes I don't even know what to do. I feel like I am so naïve. I am trying to make smart choices, but at times I get really confused.

Please tell me what to do by giving me your fatherly advice.

T.N.

Dear T.N.,

What I am about to say to you might not be what you want to hear, but I believe that it is the correct thing for me to say. First, I want you to stop wasting your time with the young man you do not love. You do not believe that he fits your criteria. Tell him the truth and move on.

Second, the young man you love is already in a steady relationship with another woman, and he told you that he is not interested in a long-distance relationship. He believes that he would cheat. At least this young man is honest, and it is not wise for you to push yourself on him. You need to give yourself time and not to consider this man as your future husband.

You should pray and ask God to give you a husband in His own time. While you wait, use your time to educate yourself so that you woulds be able to make a good contribution to society.

Pastor