Dear Pastor,

I am a regular reader of your column. I have learnt so much from reading your column, and I hope you will be able to give me your blessings as well.

I am a young woman who is very ambitious, but unfortunately, I was kicked out of my parents' house from a very early age. When I was about nine years old, I was living with my mother, but things were not going so well financially. I would try and do a little something on my own on weekends.

My stepfather is a drunkard and he would always come in late at nights and curse and sometimes beat my mother. One night, my mother turned to me and said that I was the problem. She often said she would send me to my father's house.

One Saturday night, we were at the market at about 11:00, and she said to me, "I love you, but you have to go." I said, "Where, mummy?" and that's when she told me that I had to go to my father. I started to cry and said no, but as my brother was there to comfort me, he said I should come with him, so I did.

One week afterwards, I went to my mother and she said that she had not sent me away, that I was the one who went away without her permission. She then started spreading rumours about me that I had run away.

Years later, I was kicked out by my father and I had to stop going to high school because, I had no help, even though I got recommended to sit eight subjects.

I am now a mother trying to make life easier for my child and me. Should I forgive my parents for not being of support to me for 10 years?

K.D., Kingston

Dear K.D.,

Your mother chose your stepfather, who was a drunkard, over you. She wanted you out of the house to please him. She made a big mistake. She should have protected you and chosen you over him, instead she told you to go. Then, she lied about it by telling people that you were the one who had left her house. By doing so, she gave the impression that you were a bad girl and that was why you had left her house and went to live with your father.

The question is: why did your father kick you out? Were you disobedient and rude to him? I am sorry that you did not say what caused your father to put you out. It is indeed unfortunate that you were not able to sit your examinations; however, it is not too late for you to return to school. You should get yourself a job and go to school in the evenings.

It would not do you any good to hate your parents. Consider what your mother and father did to you as mistakes. Your mother acted ignorantly. I am not sure what happened between your father and you, but put these incidents behind you and do your best to make a difference in the family.

Pastor