Dear Pastor,

My friend and I were talking about my problem and she told me I should write to you. I am 18 and living with a man who is 56. I am from the country, came to Kingston and was staying with one of my sisters. She and I couldn't agree. She wanted me to work as her helper. I had to take care of her baby, clean and cook. Whenever I asked her for money, she said she didn't have any. I told her my mind and she put me out.

I didn't go back to the country. When my sister put me out, I was on the streets for two days. One evening, I went to buy chicken and festival and met a man who asked me if I was selling. I asked him how much he would pay. He said it is according to the package. He told me to get into his car, but I was afraid.

my sister put me out

He asked me where I lived and I gave him the wrong address. I told him my sister had put me out. He took me to his house and told me to clean up. He left me there. When he came back, I was sleeping. He woke me up and told me he mistook me for a prostitute.

He asked me to be his girlfriend because his wife was away. When he took me to his house, he told me I should call him uncle. He told everybody in the yard I was his niece. We live together, and every night he wants me to have oral sex with him. He cannot have a strong erection, so I can't have regular sex with him.

Pastor, I have to be lying all the time about our relationship. This man takes good care of me but he is too jealous. I have to lie when I want to go out with my friends. Everywhere I am going, he wants to know.

I don't want to leave him but I want more freedom. I don't know what to do, that is why I am writing to you.

G.W., St. Andrew

Dear G.W.,

Very often, people who are in similar situations write me for my suggestions but, at the same time, they don't want me to tell them the truth. Here you are telling me that you don't want to leave this man. You are grateful to this man, but you should end the relationship with him. Yes, you must leave if you are going to live a decent life. This man and you can only lie for a would. Both of you will be found out as liars.

You might have had good reasons to leave your sister's home, but you put yourself in trouble when you agreed to live with this married man and pretend you are his niece. This man is in a position to support you, but he is not your husband. There is no future in this relationship.

If you have ambition, you would try and get a job, go to school in the evenings and educate yourself. I do not mean to imply it will be easy for you.

Life would be more meaningful if you learn to fend for yourself. Please, don't fool yourself. Don't be surprised if people who live in the same yard are aware that this man is not your uncle. They know men lie all the time and say their girlfriends are their nieces.

Pastor