Dear Pastor,

For the past seven months I have been in a relationship with a man. He is 25 years old and I am 18. I had an abortion and he does not want us to talk about it at all. He says it was the best thing he could think of at the time for me to do. Please tell me what to do.

S.M.

Dear S.M.,

Evidently you regret having the abortion. Sometimes girls are forced to have abortions by the men who impregnated them. Some of these men are married. Some live with other women, and some have fathered many children so they don't want anymore. You have not said why you terminated the pregnancy, only that this man said it was the best thing to do.

You cannot change what has already happened. However, you should make an appointment to meet with the family counsellor and talk about what happened and how you are feeling. That is very important because sometimes after a young woman has terminated a pregnancy, she may go through a period of depression, especially if she is not getting moral and psychological support from the person who has impregnated her.

It is more traumatic if she believes that she has committed a sin. This young man who impregnated you is behaving as if having an abortion is no big deal. He wants you to just forget it. That will not happen because you know what you have done and what you are experiencing now.

Talk to the good Lord about what you are facing. Read your Bible and look to God for guidance. I repeat, please make an appointment and go to see a family counsellor.

Pastor