Dear Pastor,

I have been reading your column for some time now and I enjoy it. I am 29 years old and I am a Christian in an Apostolic church. I did something that I am not proud of. I fornicated with one of my church brothers. I was planning to call off the relationship soon and I then found out that I was pregnant. From that, I just feel like I should kill myself.

I was going to leave and the pastor of the church said we should get married, so we did to cover up the sin we have committed. Now, it is driving me crazy. The only thing that is keeping me alive right now is my other two children. I lost the relationship I had with God. I cannot pray or read my Bible anymore. I have sleepless nights.

My husband and I don't have any relationship. We are just living together in the same house. We don't talk at all and all I can think about is that I made a big big mistake. I don't love him at all.

I am leaving him because if I don't, you will read about me in the newspaper soon. I need to find back my Saviour and to have the relationship I used to have with God. I can't stay around my husband and build that relationship with God. I need a divorce. I don't need anyone to break me down.

Just continue to pray for me, pastor, because I need your fatherly advice. Please, I am crying out for help. I would like somewhere to stay with my two children.

Desperate Woman

Dear Desperate Woman,

You are a very unhappy woman and your letter has confirmed what I have said for many years. And that is: if a woman becomes pregnant, she should not get married to the man because she is ashamed of becoming pregnant; unless she is deeply in love with the man, the marriage will not work.

Your pastor encouraged this man and you to get married to avoid people from saying that you had committed a sin and brought shame and disgrace upon the church. Your pastor was wrong. Perhaps he meant well, but it was a big mistake to get married to a man you did not love.

You will never grow to love this man. I doubt very much that you will ever be happy with him. Tell your pastor what is happening in the home and ask him to help both of you to find a way to separate amicably.

Pastor