Dear Pastor,

I have been going through some emotional stress. A month ago I broke up with my boyfriend. During our relationship, things were good and bad but I loved and cared for him very much. Since the break-up I have been trying hard to forget him, but it is very difficult, and I miss him so much. But that is not my only issue.

When I was about nine or so years old, my mother used to beat me to the point where I started to hate her. She made me afraid of her, and even now that I am a teenager, at times when I think of how I was abused, I cry and wonder why I had to endure such pain. My life has been filled with ups and downs. I have tried so hard to do right and I pray, but sometimes life feels so hard. Even as I write this letter to you I am in tears.

I live with both my parents and my father supports me financially. I still remember and feel hurt about what my mother did to me when I was younger. She has scarred me emotionally.

Please give me your advice.

Abused Teenager

Dear Abused Teenager,

First of all I would beg you to forgive your mother. She did not treat you well as a child. She ignorantly abused you, but might not have done so purposefully. You see, some parents believe that the best way to discipline a child is to beat them. But beating a child can be described as abuse. It is not a good method to correct a child, but I am sure your mother didn't know that. Her parents probably did that to her so she grew up believing that that is the best way to correct a child.

One of these days, in the future, you should talk to your mother about it. Please do not do so now. Wait until you are on your own and turning your own key. But if you were to talk to her, you would get peace of mind because it would be wrong to continue to carry that feeling of hatred in your heart towards your mother.

You are a teenager, and the struggles that you are having are what most teenagers face. It is a part of growing up. There would be good days and bad days. There would also be tumultuous years and days when you may feel depressed. However, you should learn to keep focused on your goals and never give up in what you believe in.

You have had a boyfriend and sometimes a girl may feel that she must have a boyfriend because her girlfriends have boyfriends. Sometimes having a boyfriend can bring stress on the life of a young woman. No one can totally live a stress-free life, but on the other hand, it is not wise to do things that will cause life to be more stressful. Right now, the best thing you can do is try to get a good education, and remember that men are not running away, they will always be around. So the day will come when a good one will come around and bring joy to your heart.

Don't pine over this young man who has broken up with you. If he wanted to stay with you, he would have treated you well. It may take you some time to get over him, but you will.

Pastor