I have been trying to find the courage to write to you. I am a 60-year-old woman and my husband is also 60.

We have been married for 30 years and have four children. My husband is a respected man in our community. People look up to him. He is a kind man, but there is a rumour going around that he got a 17-year-old girl pregnant.

I asked him about it and he said, no, the child is not his. I spoke to the girl and she said, yes, she is pregnant for him.

Pastor, I believe the girl is lying on my husband. I can't believe he would leave me and other women in his class and go to this little girl.

Since the rumour has going around, my husband has stopped going to church. The girl's mother spoke to me about it and said that she believes her daughter, but my husband is still not admitting that he had sex with the girl.

When I pressed him to tell me the truth, he lost his temper and told me a bad word. It was the first time my husband had ever told me a bad word. I cannot discuss these things with my pastor, I am too afraid.

P. J.

Dear P.J.,

You are perplexed. You would rather not believe that your husband had an affair with this 17-year-old girl but, at the same time you know it is quite possible.

It is mighty unfortunate that your husband lost his cool and used expletives to you.

I hope this girl is not lying on him. If he has impregnated her, the both of you should deal with the matter by getting professional help. It is not unusual for a girl to lie on a man and say he is responsible for her pregnancy.

When the child is born, a paternity test can be done to determine whether your husband fathered the child.

In the meantime, do not harass your husband about it, time will tell. The truth will be known. I hope your husband will go back to church, whether or not the child is his.

Pastor