I have a boyfriend. He is very rough. I am 18 and he is almost 25. When we became friends and I tried to kiss him, he pushed me away and told me he doesn't kiss.

I had a boyfriend and he used to like to kiss and romance me. I learnt a lot from him. He went away and promised he would come back and marry me, but it has been six months now I have not heard from him. So, I met this man and he gives me money, but he does not like to kiss. Sometimes I take his hand and try to move them towards my breast and he pulls it away. I am planning to give him 'bun' because he is stupid.

Every week he gives me $3,000 from his pay. I need the money. He told me he doesn't trust women, and, whenever he wants to have sex, he pays for it and doesn't kiss the girls because he does not know where they are putting their mouths. I told him I am clean but he does not care. When I go to his yard and he is finished having sex with me, he doesn't want me to stay. One night I insisted that I wasn't leaving because I wanted to stay with him. He beat me up and I had to leave. He is so rough that is why I am going to give him 'bun' when I meet any guy who loves and wants me.

H. J.

Dear H.J.,

I hope by now you realise this man does not love you. It is convenient for him to have you. He is not making love to you, it is just sex. He finds it very convenient to have you. You are cheaper to him than a prostitute. You are with him for money and he is with you for sex.

There is no future in this relationship. You should not allow him to abuse you, but then you should not put yourself in the position to be abused. Get yourself a job and end the relationship with this man.

Pastor