Dear Pastor,

I am 35 years and a Christian. I got married to a man I knew in Jamaica, but he migrated to the United States. We were only acquainted with each other before he went to live in America. He came back to Jamaica and visited me at my workplace. He said somebody told him where I was working. He took my number and, the evening of that very day, called and invited me out. We went to Port Royal and had fish. He told me he was always admiring me when he was living in Jamaica. He also told me that he had got married to an American woman but they broke up. He said that she was too demanding. He was living in New York but had moved and went to another State.

got another girl pregnant

He asked me if I had a boyfriend. I told him no. My boyfriend and I had broken up a year before and I had taken a break from men. I broke up with my boyfriend at the time because he got another girl pregnant.

This man took me out every night because when I met him he only had three days before returning to America. He asked me to have sex with him, but I told him no because I did not know him well enough. We kissed, but that was all. He went back to America and called me two, three times a day. Sometimes at work I had to turn off my phone to do my work. He came back to Jamaica last year and begged me for sex. He brought me a very expensive watch. I had sex with him twice during that visit.

We got married last December. On my wedding night, he tried to have sex with me in my bottom and I strongly objected. He tried to fight me to do it and I told him that I would kill him. We made up.

Pastor, I am now living with him in America and he always wants anal sex. When I am asleep, he is trying to do so. He says everybody is doing it. I told him I am going to leave him if he doesn't stop. He says that is what he likes. I am not working. I am here because I have a visa.

Pastor, please give me your advice. Many nights I have to be sleeping in the couch because I am afraid to go on the bed.

L.S.

Dear L.S.,

This man is not going to stop harassing you to for anal sex. He has declared that is what he likes. He tried to coax you into it and you objected. He has not succeeded. He tried to force you and it hasn't worked. He does not respect the position you have taken and is making a big mistake by believing he has a right to have sex with you anyhow he pleases.

I suggest you ask him whether he would go with you to see a therapist. If he objects and continues to demand anal sex, you should seriously consider seeing a lawyer for advice.

Pastor