I am living with my boyfriend for seven years and we have two children. I got pregnant during my last year in high school. I had sex with three different guys in the space of two weeks. None of them used the condom, but the one I am living with now claimed the child. When I told the three guys that I got pregnant, two of them said the child is not theirs. Only the man I am living with was very glad that I got pregnant and he owned it. My parents are very poor so I went to live with him.

After the child was born and started to grow, I could see that the child is not his, but I never said a word to anyone and the guy the child resembles I don't know where he is. The man I am living with never questioned if he is the father. I am planning to leave my boyfriend because he is not progressive. We live in a one-room house and every day he claims that he cannot get a job. And whenever he gets money, he buys ganja and smokes it out.

I met another man and he gave me money for five weeks before he asked me for sex. I had to give him because I did not even have proper underwear.

Sometimes I was ashamed to hang them out on the line because the other girls in the yard will curse me.

My only problem now with this man I am having sex with, is that he has a babymother and she is living in Canada. She is coming to Jamaica for them to get married in August, so I am going to lose him. He showed me his bankbook and he has over $550,000 in it. He promised to give me $50,000 when he is leaving. I asked him if he is serious and he said yes. I don't know how I was managing before I met him. I was really suffering.

My mother told me that I should leave the man I am living with. But he told me that if I am leaving him, I would have to leave the children, but I don't plan to do that.

S.M.

Dear S.M.,

I can't sanction what you are doing. You started life on the wrong footing. You were promiscuous at a very early age, and as a result, when you became pregnant you were not very sure which of the men impregnated you. It was very unfortunate that the one who accepted paternity did not have a proper place for you to live. You should have tried to learn a skill or even go to classes.

Instead of moving forward on your own, you have become entangled with another man. And this man has his woman abroad. I know the money he is giving you is sweet and I am not condemning you, but you would have to try another way to get money instead of depending on a man.

Your biggest challenge is to find a place for the children. Your man in the house has already warned you that if you are leaving, you cannot take the children. But he is in no position to maintain those children. So, begin to talk to relatives about how they can help you. Your mother has encouraged you to leave him, so tell your mother that you are ready to leave and ask her for her suggestions.

You have been having sex with this new boyfriend. Be careful, he may get you pregnant and bring more burden on you. I can't encourage you to have sex with him, but if you are determined to do so, make sure you protect yourself.

I wish you well.

Pastor