Dear Pastor,

I am a regular reader of your column and I enjoy it. I am 27 years old and I am recently divorced. My ex-husband appears to be decent and ambitious. He is Jamaican, but he went to high school and college in the States. His parents are good people and they love me. And although their son and I are divorced, they still consider me as their daughter-in-law.

I had to divorce my husband because he started to drink heavily and he would spend his money gambling, then he started to run women. When I talked to him about his drinking and running women, he lied to me and said that he only takes one drink per day. But I knew that was not true.

begging money

I got fed-up when he told me that he was sorry he got married, he should have gone out with many girlfriends and have sex with them. Since he started doing that, he realised what he was missing. I asked him to go with me for counselling but he said no. His parents tried to talk to him but he didn't stop.

The final straw came when one of his girlfriends called me and informed me that she was pregnant and this is the second time she got pregnant by him. She aborted the first one and she got pregnant again and she has decided not to abort this one. When she called me I was pregnant also, so after I had my baby I divorced him. Now, he is living with his babymother.

Since we broke up, he is always in financial troubles and begging me to help him. Every time he calls me, even before asking about his daughter, he is begging me for money.

I do not hate him, but I have no sympathy for him.

S.B.

Dear S.B.,

Although the marriage between both of you has ended, continue to encourage him to seek professional help. He is destroying himself. Unless he stops drinking, gambling and running women, he will always be broke. After he took the decision not to seek professional help, you were quite correct in divorcing him. He has made a fool of himself by going with different women and even getting one pregnant twice.

Heavy gamblers, drinkers and womanisers don't have a lot of savings. They are always blowing money and many after becoming old have lived in poverty. So, I repeat, you were quite correct in moving on. Don't look back.

Pastor