Dear Pastor,

I am having a problem and I need your opinion. My wife and I have been married for 13 years. She is working in America and I am in Jamaica. I am in a good job and I am able to live and to pay my bills. My wife and I have two children, a boy and a girl and they are living with me. They are in high school. My daughter is in sixth form. They are the joy of my life. I live for them. I have never taken another woman in my house since my wife is away, but I am not saying that I have been a saint. Nobody is going to come before my children.

business marriage

Pastor, my wife has got into her American way of life. She is not interested in coming back to Jamaica to live. She says she loves me, but while she is saying that in one breath, in another breath she is asking me to give her permission to do a business marriage so that she can get a green card. We don't have any argument, so I ask her why should I give her permission to divorce me and for her to get married again. She said that she would like to do that for the children's sake. She knows that the children are not suffering. I take them to school every morning and when I can't pick them up, they take taxi home. We don't owe a sent on our house.

not crazy

I asked the children how they would feel if their mother should divorce me, and my daughter said her mother is not crazy, she would never do it. My boy said, "Mommy will do anything to leave Jamaica." The children called her and asked her what I told them and she was furious. She said she did not want them to know about her plans.

To tell you the truth, I am beginning to believe that my wife is cheating on me and is only using the green card as an excuse to leave me. And that is why I am writing to you for you to give me your opinion. Do you think that I should allow her to do what she wants to do?

H.R.

Dear H.R.,

I could understand why you are beginning to believe that your wife might be having an affair. But you can't be sure about that. Marriage is sacred and it is wrong for people to engage in business marriages. Your wife is well aware of that. From what you have said, you are able to meet all the bills and to take care of your children. So, the desire that she has to get a green card is not because of need, but greed. She is behaving as if she would be willing to sell her soul to live in America. You ought not to encourage her to do so. But you should bear in mind that if she is determined to do so, you will not be able to stop her.

I am glad that you told the children what she has suggested to you. That is not something that they should not know. They are old enough to understand. Continue to be a good father to your children. I wish you well.

Pastor