Dear Pastor,

I am 23 years old. When I was attending school, I got pregnant and my parents said that they did not want me to have a baby for a Rasta man, so they took me to the doctor and I had an abortion.

I told my best friend that I was pregnant and had an abortion. She went and told my boyfriend that I told her that I did an abortion. I didn't tell him that it was an abortion I did. I told him that I lost the baby. This girl and my boyfriend became lovers. And when I asked him why he was doing that to me, he told me that because I killed his youth and I am a murderer.

no longer friends

Pastor, I did my exams and I got seven subjects and I went to college. This girl and I are no longer friends. She and my ex-boyfriend have three children now, but he also has another woman who has a child for him. I used to hate him, but I don't anymore. I have moved on with my life and I am happy.

I am now a Christian. I have a boyfriend and we hope to get married sometime next year. My ex-boyfriend calls me sometimes and asks me for money. I have never told my present boyfriend that I had an abortion. Do you think I should tell him?

R.S.

Dear R.S.,

Your past is your past. You cannot correct the mistakes that you have made, but the mistakes can help you to make better choices. I am happy that you have done well. Your parents did not want you to have a child outside of wedlock, especially for a man they did not appreciate. They made the decision for you to terminate the pregnancy. Many teenagers have had similar experiences.

As you look back you may regret becoming pregnant and you may also regret not having that baby today. But all that is in the past. You have a gentleman who is in love with you. Both of you are planning to get married. Isn't that wonderful? There is a possibility that you will get pregnant again and this time within wedlock.

The question is: Should you tell your fiancé about the abortion? My answer is: I don't see any reason why you should. He might not be able to deal with it and he might even end the relationship with you.

I know that some people will not agree with me, but that is how I see it. A man does not have to know everything that you have done in life.

If you were still with this man who impregnated you, he probably would not be interested in marrying you. And he might have had three to four children with you by now, like what he did to your girlfriend. So, you have lost nothing. I wish your fiancé and you well. May you have many years together.

Pastor