Dear Pastor,

I am a Jamaican by birth but I have been living in America since I was seven years old. My parents were very poor, but since they came to live in America they have worked very hard. My mother went back to school and is now working. My father continued his plumbing and is also working as a security guard at nights. I have never seen my father ill or take holidays. I have two sisters and a brother. We all tried to help ourselves by working in fast-food restaurants.

Pastor, I am writing to you because my father brings home his pay cheques to my mother and she uses the money as she pleases. Now my mother is cheating on my father, but he doesn't know it. I know it because I saw my mother and this man doing what they should not be doing. She did not know that I saw them. The funny thing about it is that this man is a friend of my father and sometimes they go out together, especially to Jamaican functions.

I told my mother that I know what she is doing and she told me that I am crazy. But when I told her that I saw him, she begged me not to tell my dad and that she will end the relationship with the man.

Pastor, I am 18 years old and I am going to college. I asked my mother how long this is going on and she said for the past six months. Every time I see this man and my father, I get upset. My mother is treating me extra nice since I told her.

Do you think that I should tell my father? I love both my dad and my mother.

M.J.

Dear M.J.,

Your mother is wrong, very wrong to be cheating on your dad. But she has begged you not to say anything to him and she has also promised you that she will end the intimate relationship with the man. Therefore, I would suggest that you take your mother to her word and that you should observe (not spy) your mother's movements to see whether she has kept her word and has ended the affair.

You have a wonderful family. Both parents have done well in trying to educate their children and to give them a happy home. It is unfortunate that your mother and this man are destroying the family. I hope that your mother will tell this man that what they are doing is no more a secret, so he should back off.

Pastor