Dear Pastor,

I am a regular reader of your column and I am inspired by it. I am a Christian young man and I am 25 years old. I am about to get married. My fiancée is also a Christian, but I am having a problem.

Our wedding date is set for June. We were trying our best not to have sex until we were married. She too is 25 years old and she has a very good job. I went to her apartment to pick her up on Friday evening. I had told her the time I would be there. When I got there, she wasn't ready but I have a key for the house so I went in and sat down. She was in the bathroom. She came out of the bathroom with only a towel around her and she stood just for a minute to talk to me and I was stunned by her lovely breasts. I asked her to remove the towel for me to look at her and she did and ran into her room. I did the wrong thing by following her into her room and started to kiss her. She resisted but after a while stopped. We had sex. Now I don't know what to do because she told me that she missed her period and she believes that she is pregnant.

I know if she is really pregnant, the church is going to discipline the both of us. I wouldn't know what to do. Both of us are respected and people come to us for advice. When we got engaged it was big excitement in the church and everybody wished us well. We read your column every day, so I am writing to you for your advice.

M.S.

Dear M.S.,

You are not sure whether this young woman is pregnant, but if it is confirmed that she is, both of you should go to your pastor and talk about it. You may do two things. You may move your wedding to an earlier date, or you may wait until she has given birth.

move the wedding date

If you were to move your wedding to an earlier date, she may be able to wear the wedding gown she loves and it won't be evident that she is pregnant. If the pregnancy begins to show, she may not look beautiful in her wedding gown. Some women do not like to get married when they are pregnant. Your lady might feel very uneasy having a pregnancy that is showing on her wedding day.

People will talk whether you have the wedding earlier or later. That is something that you would have to expect. Some churches discipline members even if they got married before the pregnancy is showing. That is why it is important to seek guidance from your minister. Your fiancée should also discuss the matter with her parents and find out how they feel about the dilemma in which she has found herself.

I wish both of you well

Pastor