Dear Pastor,

I hope all is well with you. I have been reading your column for a couple of months and it is great. I love how you give good advice to those people who write to you. Anyway, I am 21 and I have a problem.

I am in love with a man who has three babymothers. He is very kind, caring, loving, honest and straightforward. We have known each other for nine months and, so far, we have been talking like we have known each other for a long time now.

Couple months ago, his first babymother found out about his son that he has outside of their relationship, and she told him if he wanted any more, he should go out there to get it, and he did it. She found out and started one big argument over it, then she ended the relationship between them. He came to me and told me about it and I felt sorry about it, from both point of view, until I even started to blame myself at one point.

Anyway, it continued for three months in which both women kept calling each other and telling each other things. He asked both of them to stop and they continued for a long. He came to me for support and I gave him my support.

Now, I have fallen so deeply in love with him that I feel like I am hurting myself. He is a hard-working man. He also takes good care of me. I really don't know what to do because I am very scared to take that second step with him because of my past relationship.

Please, give me some advice

K.C.

Dear K.C.,

You are a simple girl and easy to be fooled. If you are not careful, you will be pregnant before you can count one, two, three. This man is behaving like a playboy. He is not ready to settle down. He has three babymothers and it is likely you will be number four.

I find it difficult to believe you could not see that while this man was coming to you, and looking to you for sympathy, he was working himself into your life. If you didn't see that, then you were indeed naéve. I believe you are a licky-licky girl. You have been taking money from this man, and that's why you have been able to say he takes good care of you. The money he has been giving to you should have been given his children.

If one of his babymothers had told him to go and drown in the sea, would he have done so? I think not. So, if she told him if he wanted another child he could go and get it elsewhere, that was no excuse for him to impregnate another woman. You are making excuses for him. Believe me, girl, if you don't keep your head on your body, he will do you the same and move on, because he is not ready to settle down. Any man who is dropping children here and there, will not have a stable family. You are playing with fire and you may live to regret what you are doing. Never believe everything a man tells you.

Pastor