Dear Pastor,

I would like to say I am extremely concerned about the sexual abuse of children and how society has become highly sexual. I have realised sex is a normal part of humanity, but it appears that today, anything and everything goes. There is no more modesty. There is no intrigue. Everything is just put out there. Where did ladylikeness go?

I think there is a lot of blame to go around, including parents, media and social institutions such as the schools and the church. We all have a role to play in the break down.

I believe adults are to be blamed, for the most part. Many men are ruled by their groins. Women and girls easily tempt them because they have no principle or ethics. Even if you are not a Christian, we all know is right from wrong.

lady in the day, whore in bed

Once, men would say they want a woman who is a lady in the day and a whore in bed. I do not agree with this desire, but now they want a 24-hour whore. A woman who is willing to dish it out in a minute is admired. A woman who wants to wait until the relationship has become serious is considered old school or stupid. This is not only young boys, but grown men behave the same way.

I think schools and the church are probably not discussing these issues in a way that makes sense to children or youth. Telling young girls and boys, who are already having sex, not to have sex, is a joke.

I am a grown woman and I can recall being touched in a sexual manner by many men when I was a child. Both my parents died without knowing. Thank God I was smart enough not to put myself in a situation where these men could catch me at anytime by myself. One example was my principal who had put his hand through my tunic at school to feel up my little budding breasts. He did it in public but I am not even sure how no one saw. I pulled away quickly and made sure never to go close to him again, but I will never forget it. In my home, this man was highly respected. There was a senior police officer who was a friend of the family who used to whisper things to me as a child. I truly didn't even understand what he was saying, but I knew he was saying it under his breath and would stop when my parents came around. As a child, I used to pretend I did not understand or know what they were trying to do or say.

I remember, on Christmas day, this police officer was the first one at the house with a gift. My mother had trained me not to take money, sweets or gifts from men, so he knew he had to give it to my mother. I knew he was thinking I would like him for these gifts, but I knew, from about eight years old, that this man was a creep. My parents knew nothing and it was very hard to explain. I could tell you many stories.

L.B.

Dear L.B.,

Thanks for sharing your thoughts with the readers of my column. You were a very wise young girl when you were growing up, and you have continued to be morally upright.

Please, write again.

Pastor