Dear Pastor,

Greetings to you and your staff. I have a problem bothering me, and I hope you can help me. I am married and love my husband, but I have a crush on his brother. His brother is an athlete and has a terrific body.

One weekend he came to the house to visit. He was there for two days. He is great with children. The Saturday evening he was in the yard playing football with the kids and took off his shirt. When I saw his body, especially his abs, I almost went crazy. I kept staring at him. He is very strong and sexy.

That night when I went to bed with my husband, I asked him why he can't look like his brother. He was surprised at what I asked him. He started to laugh and, in the morning when we woke up and were around the breakfast table, he told his brother that I was in love with his body.

His brother asked me then and there if it was true and I was embarrassed. I told him I saw him with his shirt off and I loved the way he looked, but there was nothing more to it.

However, Pastor, every time I think of my husband's brother, I am tempted to call him. I don't know how he would react. He and my husband are very close, so he may tell his brother that I called, and I don't want that.

making love with his brother

When I met my husband, he didn't have abs, but he was in good shape. Now, I can't get him to eat right. He eats a lot of junk food. He does not exercise. I can't get his brother out of my mind. I can't understand it because I have never thought of cheating on my husband. It is very bad because, even while making love with my husband, I am wondering how it would feel making love with his brother with those lovely abs and arms. I am not joking. I wonder how it would feel.

I know what I am doing is not right. One day he called the house to talk to his brother. He was not there, so we talked for a long while about everything, including his girlfriend. This time I fell in love with his voice. He is so intelligent. I was answering the phone in my bedroom. While I was talking to him, I started to fool around myself. He knew I was doing something because he heard me gasping for breath. He asked me what was going on and I told him nothing. He suspected what I was doing, so he hung up. Is this normal?

My husband and I have a good relationship, so why do I feel this way about his brother?

C.M.

Dear C.M.,

Now you know how careful you should try to be at all times, but especially when you see men who are very handsome and sexy. Your brother-in-law came to the house and did not realise that by taking off his shirt and playing with the children would have turned you on. He was just having fun with your kids. In your mind, you were so turned on that you would have gone to bed with him if it were possible. To make matters worst, you were foolish enough to ask your husband why he could not be in good shape as his brother.

I am afraid temptation of the flesh is getting the better of you, and you have said enough to your brother-in-law to make him realise that you love him and would be quite willing to go to bed with him.

He may or may not tell his brother, but it is more likely that he would tell him and would not want to be around you if his brother is not there.

People fantasise all the time but you should not be fantasising having sex with your brother-in-law. According to you, you are happily married. You should spend much time in prayer about this matter. Please do not say anything else to your husband about how you feel about his brother. If you do, he might not keep it to himself. He might even tell other members of the family and this could lead to a break-up of your marriage.

Pastor