Dear Pastor,

I am a regular reader of your column. I have tried to reach you on your show but your lines are always busy, and when I hold I burn out my credit. Your show is very nice and I learn a lot from it. Sometimes when I listen to your show I can hardly get up to go to work.

My husband went to America and he has not come back so I am here alone trying to keep up. After five years of waiting I cheated on him with one of his friends who came to Jamaica and came to visit me. I cooked and we ate and while I was washing the dishes, he was watching television and fell asleep. I told him he can go in the room and lie down. He slept for about an hour and when he woke up, he asked me if he could spend the night and I told him yes.

promised that he would not tell him

Pastor, I am forty-one years old, and my husband is forty-five and we do not have any children. He did not have to stay in America. He was doing well out here, but his people encouraged him to stay and he spoiled up his visa. His friend who stayed with me promised that he would not tell him that he spent the night with me. But as I think about it, even if he told him I would not care, because it was the first time I was doing anything like that and I hope his friend would come back.

Sometimes I wonder if I should divorce him. He sends me money and is helping me to pay the mortgage, but I have a job and if he stops sending me money, I can manage.

I want to know how you feel about my situation.

Lonely wife.

Dear Lonely wife.,

Your husband has abandoned you but he will not admit that he has done so, because he is still in touch with you and sends money to you often. You need his love and care more than his money. You need to feel his presence and to hear from his lips, I love you.

You have remained faithful to your husband for five years. Unfortunately you gave in and had sex with one of his friends. It is not for me to condemn you, I wish it were not so. How long is this relationship going to continue this way? Only you and your husband can determine that! I know for sure that when you are tired of waiting, you would do something about it. In the mean time I hope that you will be more cautious in entertaining male friends at your house.

Pastor