Dear Pastor,

I am seeking your help; I do not know how I am still alive because I am hurting. I cannot eat or sleep. I have a daughter and her father and I broke up. She is now 14, and when my boyfriend and I met, she was only three. He took her as his own child (so I thought), but now I am wondering where did I go wrong.

Pastor, my daughter is sleeping with her stepfather. I went to country to attend a funeral and stayed over the Saturday night. I was expected to come back the Sunday evening, but I got a ride from some friends who were coming back to Kingston early the Sunday morning. I did not call to tell them that I was coming back early because I was not thinking of anything. When I got home I saw my daughter and her stepfather in bed sleeping together in only their underwear. I was so shocked. I stood there watching them. I woke them up and asked them what was going on and my daughter said nothing was going on. She said she was in bed and he came and stayed with her.

Both of them told me that nothing when on. I don't know what to believe because I know that my daughter had sex before with a sixteen year old guy, so I didn't take her to the doctor to prove anything. My biggest problem is how to trust this man with my daughter. This man and I bought a house together, and I have never suspected both of them together. Every day he tells me that they never had sex.

I.L.

Dear I.L.,

This man has no right to be sleeping in your daughter's room and sleeping on her bed when you were not there. Both of them were scantily clad, so you can never be sure what went on. You did not see them having sex. Both of them were sleeping. She said that he came into her bed. The big question is, why?

You should know your man. Whether or not they had sex together, you should make an appointment for the whole family to see a family counsellor.

Pastor