Dear Pastor,

I am 19 years old and I have a boyfriend. He lives with his babymother, but he doesn't like her. He comes to the school where I attend evening classes and picks me up. He became my friend but it did not start out that way. He used to have an affair with another girl who was attending to the same school, but they broke up and she stopped coming to the school because he was the one paying for her. The other girls are jealous of me because he is very handsome and drives an expensive car. He is hot. And every time he comes, he rolls the window down so everybody can see him.

I have a big problem because he is planning to go away for five months and I can't deal with it. I told my mother about him but I didn't tell her he has a babymother. Since meeting him, I don't have to worry about how I would eat or travel because he gives me money for everything and he sends money also to my mother.

I know where he lives but he told me that he cannot take me there because his babymother lives there. She is a very fortunate girl to have this man. She doesn't even have to work. I used to have a boyfriend and when I was 18 years old I went to his house and came home late. And my mother waited until I was asleep and started beating me. Now, I can stay out any hour with this man and she doesn't say anything. He told me he is not planning to get married now because other girls like him, but if I behave myself I may be the one he would marry.

I don't know what I am going to do when he is gone.

C.D.

Dear C.D.,

You are fooling your mother, but she ought to know better. She likes this young man because she believes that he genuinely loves you and she gets money from him. She thinks that he would make a good son-in-law. But you know that he is not for real, because he is living with another woman and both of them have a child together.

This friendship will not last. He will use you, and when he is tired of you, he will dump you. You need to try and do well in school, so that you will be able to get a good job and support yourself. This guy will not make you his wife because he does not believe that you are in his league, so to speak. But he will continue to have sex with you as long as you make yourself available. Take my suggestion, get out of this relationship right away.

Pastor