Dear Pastor,

Eighteen years ago, I brought a woman to you and you officiated at our wedding. This union produced two children and both of them are doing well in school, but their mother has caused me to wonder many times what went wrong. I don't believe what people are telling me, but I have tried to leave her many times. And every time I leave, I find myself going back to her. They say she has tied me.

This woman has another man and everybody knows about it. When she is ready, she curses me and tells me bad words. Sometimes, had it not been for the children, I wouldn't have anything to eat when I come from work. She leaves the home and goes away and nobody knows where she is gone.

no sex in three years

It is nearly three years now we have not had sex. The last time I asked her for sex, she said she preferred to give it to a dog than to me. And she told me to my face that she has her man so she doesn't need me.

I went to our pastor and he came to our home to talk to us. When I told him what she said, she denied it. She said that I am always accusing her of having sex with other men. She even told the pastor that anytime I want sex, she gives it to me. Nothing goes like that. When the pastor left, she jeered me and called me a fool.

The children know that she is not treating me well and they talked to her about it, but nothing has changed. That is why I am turning to you for help. I believe that she has really done me something why I can't leave her.

One and two times I have taken a chance by having sex with other women. And one of the women I had sex with told me she would take me somewhere to get me loose from my wife. I am thinking about it, but I don't want to lose my children. They are part of the reason why I am hanging on. This woman has been giving me 'bun' for a long time and she is proud of it.

B.I.

Dear B.I.,

I am sorry that you didn't explain what your wife used to tie you. Without a doubt, you are a very unhappy man. And I don't doubt you one bit that your wife is not treating you well. It does not seem that she has any love for you. If she had it, it is surely gone. No woman who loves her husband will refuse to have sex with him for three years, even if he could not manage, she would want to find ways of bringing comfort to him, so to speak.

I believe that she lied to the pastor. She is taking you for a fool, and she doesn't seem to care whether you leave or stay. You have left and returned a number of times and you claim that you do not know why. But you do know why, because you love your children and you prefer to be with them.

I would not encourage you to go to any obeah man or woman to seek help. They will only take your money and make you poorer. You should just continue to pray for deliverance. You can never know what the Good Lord will do for you, so don't give up.

Pastor