Dear Pastor,

I have been reading your column for a long time. I am writing you to help me make a decision. I am a 27-year-old man, and I used to run around, but I have stopped. I have five children with three different women. When I say I have changed, I mean that I want to settle down. I am now in church and I am engaged.

I don't know if I have made a mistake. This person I am engaged to is not what I was looking for in a lady. She has a good profession like myself, but I can't deal with what I saw. I have found out that she has doubled nipples on her two breasts and her breasts do not look attractive. I don't know what to do because she has a good shape and her clothes fit her well. But I can't handle the breasts part. When I spoke to her about them, she said she felt embarrassed.

Everybody in my church likes her when I introduced her to them. She is not a member of my church. She attends another church. I don't believe that I can handle the way her breasts look. I want you to give me your opinion. She is not prepared to go to the doctor about them, because she says that they are not bothering her.

D.G.

Dear D.G.,

This woman is telling you that you would have to accept her as she is because she has accepted herself. And if you cannot deal with her and accept the appearance of her breasts, you should go your way.

Some people may say that you should accept her just as she is. But on the other hand, she should be willing to at least go to the doctor and find out whether her condition can be corrected.

You described her as a very attractive person. I don't doubt that she is, but she is not using common sense. If she is interested in getting married to you, both of you should work together. If not, both of you should go your separate ways. The people in your church will understand that the relationship did not work, but you would not be obligated to give them the reasons why.

Pastor