Dear Pastor,

I am 20 years old and I was in a relationship with a guy who was nine years older than I. We always talk about getting married. From he was a child, he always wanted to get three tattoos. However, he never did because when he was with his previous girlfriend for seven years, she told him that if he got a tattoo the relationship would be ended. So he decided not to bother. Now that we are together for two years, he decided that he is going to get it, but I have tried everything to talk him out of it, but he still did.

When he got the first one, I was upset that he went behind my back and got it, but I let it go and moved on. Now, he has his mind made up that he is going to get a second one. The fact about everything is not the tattoo, but that he is a Christian. I told him that Christians should not have that on them. If he had them before he got saved, that would be different. I showed him in the Bible that it is wrong, and he said that didn't apply to him, only the Israelites.

I tried everything, until one day I decided to do the same thing that his previous girlfriend did to see if that would stop him. I told him that it was either the tattoo or me. And without thinking, he chose the tattoo over me. After all was said and done, I tried to see if we could get past it, but every time I tell him to come and let us talk, he makes excuses.

I asked him if he wanted us to try the relationship again and he told me no because when he is ready to get the third tattoo, it is going to be that same drama again. I left him alone, but at times I wish we were still together. I want to try, again but I don't think I should.

Please tell me what to do.

Disappointed Girl

Dear Disappointed Girl,

A grown man should feel free to do whatever he wants to do. But you are not obligated to have him as your lover. You don't like a man with tattoos and you told this man so, but he likes them. It is likely that he will even do more than the three he planned to do. You need not ask this man to come back to you, because every time you see his tattoos you are going to talk about them. He left you because he loves his tattoo more than you, therefore you should leave him alone.

Pastor