Dear Pastor,

I am 23 years old and I have a boyfriend who is also 23. We are friends from we were 19 years old. I used to have a boyfriend before him and we broke up. He got a girl pregnant, but he and the girl are not together again. I still love him and he loves me. He was in Jamaica over the weekend and he picked me up and took me to where he was staying and we had sex. He is gone back to Canada and every day I am crying because I am missing him.

cheated on my boyfriend

This is the first time I have cheated on my boyfriend. My boyfriend is a security officer. We are living together. I control everything, including his pay cheque and he trusts me. I didn't mean to cheat, but I couldn't resist my ex-boyfriend. And something has to happen because if he comes back to Jamaica, I know I will have sex with him again. I got a different feelings when I was having sex with him, and I had orgasms more than once.

I know you are going to say that I am bad and I don't blame you. I want to get back my ex-boyfriend. How could I go about that?

O.M.

Dear O.M.,

You talk like someone without good morals, but I do not say that to condemn you. You feel that you have not done anything wrong by having sex with your ex-boyfriend although you are living with another man, and you say that you will do so again if the occasion arises. A good woman doesn't talk that way or cherish such thoughts.

You are living with a man who trusts you. And you are in control of everything. He might not be making a lot of money, but he is trying to make you happy. You should endeavour to be faithful to him.

This young man who is living in Canada will use you as long as you make yourself available. And I must warn you, he will never marry you, because he will not trust you. He would always believe that you will cheat on him just as how you are cheating on your boyfriend by having sex with him.

You need to learn to keep yourself quiet and learn to appreciate the man with whom you are living. If you do not love him, tell him so and move on. But do not stay with him and fool around with another man.

Pastor