I am 18 years old and I have a boyfriend who is living in the States. We have been in a relationship for almost a year. I love him with all my heart and I know he loves me too. He tells me everything he does.

A couple of months ago he had sex with another girl and told me about it. He claimed that she was only someone he was flirting with and that I should not worry because I am his wife. I got really upset and ended the relationship with him. He begged me not to leave him and also apologised and I forgave him. He is a very good person. He is always asking me to marry him but I told him to give me some time to think about it because I don't want to rush anything, and he agreed.

Lately, I find myself crying all the time, mostly after talking to him on the phone. I don't know why. Sometimes I feel really upset for no reason.

Pastor, I don't want to leave my boyfriend but I think this relationship is fading and I don't know what to do anymore.

I need your advice.

Confused Teen

Dear Confused Teen,

Perhaps this relationship should indeed fade away. Often teenagers talk about marriage, but they don't know what it entails. You did not mention this young man's age, but you are 18 and the young man is far away. He is not a saint. He is going to date other girls. He has no obligation to you. He calls you his wife, but that does not mean much. He was brave enough to tell you that he had sex with another girl. You didn't take what he did kindly. He is likely to do that again, but the next time he does so, he wouldn't tell you.

I am not here to tell you that you shouldn't keep him as a friend, but please do not put your heart on him. Try your very best to do well in school. If you keep thinking about him, it may affect your performance in school. Remember you are very young. Men are not running away. They would always be around. So, if this present relationship doesn't work, it is likely that you will find another guy.

Pastor