I am a regular reader of your column. I am a Jamaican but I am living in the USA I am a married woman but my husband is in Jamaica.

He plans to join me this year but, pastor, I am not looking forward to it because my life is mixed up.

I am sharing apartment with another woman and I have been having sex with her boyfriend. He wants to take this matter to a higher level. His girlfriend doesn't know he and I are having a relationship. When he comes to see her and I am there, I don't get in their way, nor anything to make her suspicious of us.

I told this man my husband was coming and was planning to move out and get a new place for my husband and I to live. He said that he doesn't know how that would work because anywhere I go he would find me.

Pastor, I am a nurse and this man is not working far from the hospital I am working. He calls me about twice a day to check up on me. I love my husband, but I love this man more. I have never asked him for anything but I got involved with him because of loneliness. Now I don't know how to stop having sex with him.

He is not a Jamaican. He is a Puerto Rican. He is even talking about us getting married, but I told him that would be unfair to my husband and the woman I am sharing with would hate me.

I hate to think of giving him up and I don't want to hurt my husband, but right now I am hurting.

When he comes to the house and he is in the room with his girlfriend, I feel so hurt because I should be the one who should be in there with him.

T.O.

Dear T.O.,

I suggest you don't wait until your husband is ready to come to America to join you before you move out of the apartment you are sharing with the other woman.

Look for your own place now. I am sure that by sharing you are saving money, but it will be more difficult for you to deal with the situation in which you have found yourself if you continue to live with this young woman.

It won't be long before she finds out you are having sex with her boyfriend and a fight might break out.

Of course, if you were to get your own apartment, this man may feel he could come to see you anytime and not be worried about his girlfriend becoming aware of the relationship that has developed between you.

However, you can say no and refuse to allow him to come to your house. It might appear, at the moment, that it would be easier for the relationship to grow. but if you are determined to end it, you can by leaving to go on your own.

Your husband will soon be with you. You need to contact a family counsellor and receive professional help in learning how to love your husband and how to reject this man who has got you to love him and who is doing everything to give you the impression that he prefers you more than the woman with whom you are sharing apartment.

What I am trying to say to you is that you should do every thing in your power to end the relationship with this man.

Pastor