Dear Pastor,

I am a regular reader of your column. I am 20 and I have a boyfriend. He asked me to go with him to America. He was going on business and I agreed to go with him.

I told my mother I was going to the north coast with my girlfriends.

I had one of my girlfriends come to my house when I was packing. She pretended we were going on the trip. My mother believed.

My boyfriend took me to Fort Lauderdale the Friday and we came back on Sunday. This man is twice my age, but he gives me anything I want.

I worked for his brother. His brother likes me, but he knows nothing can go on between us.

I have another boyfriend who is 23. When I was away, I made sure my phone was off. When I came back, I called him and he asked why he couldn't find me.

I told him I had serious period pains, so I turned off my phone and wasn't talking to anybody. He believed me. I told him I would make it up to him.

Pastor, my problem now is that I am pregnant. I know it is not for my boyfriend because we haven't had sex for three months. The only man I had sex with was the man I went to Florida with.

He is not denying the child could be his, but he wants me to abort it because he doesn't want his wife to leave him.

She has warned him that any day she finds out he has an outside woman, she will leave him.

When I met him, he told me he and his wife were not getting along and he was planning to divorce her.

Now, suddenly, they are back together. I don't know what to do because I am confused and that is why I am writing to you for your advice.

Please, don't think I am a bad girl. My boyfriend cannot give me every thing I want, so that is why I am with this married man.

J.M.,

Dear J.M.,

Don't consider abortion an option. Have your baby and, after you have given birth, insist this man supports his child. Right now he may try to convince you that the best thing would be to have an abortion.

Don't yield an inch. He lied to you. Therefore, it is not for you to take life to save his marriage. Let him deal with his wife.

If she calls and asks whether you are carrying her husband's child, admit and tell her when you had met him he told you the relationship between them was rocky and he intended to divorce her.

You should do so because had this woman might feel you were trying to take away her husband and that you are a bad girl.

If you believe you are unable to be a good mother to a child, then you can consider giving up the child for adoption.

There are many couples who are unable to have children and would gladly adopt this child through the Adoption Board.

Before I go, I must comment on the scheme you put together in deceiving your mother.

You told her you were going with friends to the north coast for the weekend, and you knew fully well you where going to Florida with this married man.

Now, every time you look at your pregnancy, you are going to remember that was the result of that trip to Florida.

May I ask, what do you plan to tell your boyfriend about the pregnancy? I hope you will learn a valuable lesson not to fool around with a man because he can give you material things.

Pastor