Dear Counsellor:

I read your column in the Star every week. It is a column I really look forward to reading. Now it is my time to write.

Counsellor, I'm a married man and I was recently diagnosed with HIV. I am extremely worried. There is no way I can face my wife with such horrible news, because I know she did not infect me. Counsellor, let me tell you the truth. I have a little woman on the side, but we all attend the same church and she is a Holy Ghost person, a Christian woman.

When I started dating her she told me she was not having sex with anyone. Counsellor, few months later, I realised she was seeing a deacon from the church but the deacon's wife has a little baby. I know my wife is a faithful woman. How could this be? Is it possible for me to be infected and my wife is not? I really hope my wife is alright.

Worried Elder

Dear Worried Elder:

Yes, it is possible for you to test positive for HIV the virus that causes AIDS, and your partner tests HIV negative, even though you both have been having unprotected sex, but this does not happen very often.

You should stop having unprotected sex right away because if your partners are not yet infected, they could become infected, or if they are infected, then you could reinfect each other.

Remember it is not the number of sex partners you have that will cause you to become infected with HIV, but it is whether you or one of your sex partners has sex with someone who is infected.

You must know that HIV can infect anyone who has unprotected sex with someone who is infected, it does not matter whether you are a Christian or not. You must also take the personal responsibility of protecting yourself, only you can protect you. I suggest you speak with a HIV-knowledgeable counsellor, who will help you through this very difficult period.

For more information on condom use, HIV/AIDS and other sexually transmitted infections, call the AIDS/STD Helpline at 967-3830, 967-3764 or toll free at

1888-991-4444.