Dear Pastor,

I am a 20-year-old female who is involved with a man who is twice my age. The problem is that his ex-girlfriend is still living with him. We have been together for two-and-a-half years. He was with the both of us at the same time but he was with her for three years. He told me that he ended the relationship with her a month-and-a-half ago to be with me alone, because he loves me more.

I can't understand why she is still living with him. It is a two-bedroom house and she is in the other room, but they share the same bathroom, living room and kitchen, which is still a big problem for me. I told him to put her out because he is not with her and it is disrespectful to me, but he told me that she doesn't have anywhere to go and she is looking for an apartment.

His family members told me that they are still together and she is still in love with him. I believe she is giving him poor excuses to stay there and make my life a living hell. I spend weekends at his place and leave on Mondays, because I am boarding on college campus.

My grades have been falling because my mind is not settled knowing his ex is in his house and anything can happen. I don't want to leave him because I know he loves me. He is the one who is paying for my tuition fee. I really do love him and I don't want to be ungrateful. His ex-girlfriend's time has long expired and she is still there trying to take my space when she should be disposed of.

Pastor, I am a very jealous young lady who will stop at nothing to get and keep what I want, so having her there is driving me crazy.

Please give me your best advice.

A.T.

Dear A.T.,

You are talking about this woman as if she is a doormat and that you have more claims to this man than the other woman. I want you to know that this man is only having a good time with you as he did with this other woman. There was a time when he had both of you together. His time was shared between both of you. Now you claim that he only has you and the other woman is only there because she cannot find any place to go, neither can he.

Perhaps they are not sleeping together when you are visiting. But that does not mean that the relationship between them has ended. His relatives told you that they are still together. But you believe the man. Time would tell who is speaking the truth.

You must learn not to curse another woman over a man. Not all men speak the truth. Most men are liars. Again, time would tell. The truth will be revealed. Stop talking as if you have more say than this young woman. You don't.

Your number one priority should be your college work. If you fail your exams, it would not be the fault of this man. It would be because of your stupidity and neglect. So if you want to graduate, drop this man and concentrate on your college work.

Pastor