Dear Pastor,

I am a 21-year-old female. I haven't talked to my mother since I was 17 years old because I don't know where she is. I have tried on numerous occasions to get in contact with her but I have failed. Anyway, that is not why I am writing to you. You see, I have a 27-year-old boyfriend who I think doesn't deserve me, and, I need your advice before I do something stupid.

We have been together for the past 10 months and I am the only one who is working. He has a babymother who is very disrespectful to me. He is a carpenter and he did a fencing job about three months ago. He was supposed to get $55,000 for the job but only collected $20,000, at least that is what he claimed to get. I don't believe him because he got a job already and I didn't see where the money went and long after he confessed that he gave all of it to his babymother.

Pastor, I am a bartender and I work 12-14 hours a day every other week. And for the week that I am not working, I stay home with him. I have gone to work, come home and seen long strands of hair on the bathing soap that don't belong to me. I have even seen hickey on his neck which I have asked him about and he told me that he didn't know how it got there. He used to put his hands on me but he has stopped, although I think that it is only a matter of time before he starts hitting me again.

I think about leaving him everyday but because I don't have anywhere to go, I have to stay with him and be treated like this.

What do you think I should do?

Frustrated and Unhappy

Dear Frustrated and Unhappy,

I suggest that you leave this man as early as possible. You are a hard worker, but you are not going to make any progress in life if you remain with this man. He will spend all that you earn and give you very little. You must get out of this relationship. Ask your co-workers to help you find a reasonable place to rent. Talk to your boss and ask him to help you to find a place to live.

Stop taking the abuse from this man. When you are moving out, make sure you get the help of the police.

Pastor