Dear Pastor,

I wish you lots of blessings and keep on doing the good work that you are doing. I am a regular reader of your column. I have a big problem that is tearing my inside apart. I got pregnant at 16. I told a friend of mine about it and she gave me some small, white pills. I didn't know what they were for but she said that I must insert two and take two. I hate myself at times for not thinking of what I was doing.

I started feeling pain and I blocked out. My mother took me to the hospital and I had an abortion. I started having heavy-flowing period and the doctor prescribed some pills for me. After taking them, I started having irregular period. I went to another doctor and he said that I should do a papsmear, and I did. The results were ok. I also went to a gynaecologist and I did an ultrasound and they didn't see anything wrong. I don't take the pills anymore for a year because I heard it comes with side effects. My period continued for one month and stopped, and it didn't come back until two months time.

My boyfriend and I are together for four years now and he ejaculates in me multiple times. I took a pregnancy test three weeks after and I was not pregnant. When I told him that I am not pregnant, he got upset. We are so afraid that I might not get pregnant again. My boyfriend said that he will always love me and will be beside me no matter what, but I can see on his face that he is hurt.

He told me that he read that birth control pills thicken the cervical mucus and prevents pregnancy. I really need your help. I would like to know what I can do to get pregnant. And if I go to a gynaecologist, what the procedure should be like?

Please pray for me.

J.F., St. James

Dear J.F.,

Stop listening to what people who are not medical doctors say to you. Your boyfriend and you are anxious to have a child. If he says that he loves you, he should not bring pressure on you. And you should not be so silly to be doing your own thing and telling your problems to everybody.

If you were a wise girl, you would keep your mouth shut and follow your doctor's advice. Your boyfriend is not a doctor. Your friends are not doctors. Stay with your gynaecologist.

Before I go, let me ask you this question: are you really ready to become a mother? You did not give your age. Are you trying to get pregnant because you do not want to feel guilty about having an abortion? If you were to get pregnant now, the child will not replace the one you lost. Therefore, instead of being eager to get pregnant, use the time to get a good education so that you will be in a position to support a child whenever you have one and yourself.

If the man you are going with truly loves you, he would marry you and both of you wait on the Lord to bless you with a child.

Pastor