Dear Pastor,

I am a 16-year-old teenager who has been raped recently. I need your advice. I have written to you before and didn't get a response. On January 20, I was raped by four boys at school. I didn't tell anybody. I gave my ex-boyfriend permission to have sex with me but I didn't give the other four boys permission.

During the rape incident, I was forced to do oral sex. They pushed their penises in my mouth and told me to suck them. The following day I reported it and it turned out to be the worst thing that I have ever done.

'bad gal'

I am going to a different school now and the case is in court. The parents of the boys said I am a "bad gal" and I gave them permission to have sex with me. Rumours are spreading and every day it gets worse and worse. My ex-boyfriend doesn't talk to me because of that. I had the worst Valentine's Day anybody could wish for. My parents blame me every day when they hear rumours spreading about me.

I want this to stop. Pastor, I want you to tell me what I should do about this. I need a better life and I am to attend court in April.

Raped Victim

Dear Raped Victim,

I am very sorry to hear that you were raped. You had an unfortunate experience of having sex with four men at the same time, without your consent. You said you consented to your boyfriend having sex with you. Why did your boyfriend and you agree to have sex on the school compound? Why didn't your boyfriend try to protect you when the other boys came up on you? I repeat, I am sorry to hear you were raped and I hope that you will receive justice in court.

I am not surprised people are condemning you and saying you are bad. Nevertheless, no one has the right to rape a woman, whether she is a morally upright person or a bad person. I hope you are undergoing therapy. You want people to stop blaming you for what has happened but, unfortunately, it will not go away overnight. Your therapist should be able to help you to learn to cope with the verbal abuse people may shout at you from time to time. God will be able to give you grace to deal with and overcome what they are saying about you.

Your boyfriend has made it more difficult for you by ending the relationship. I hope when he goes to court he will speak the truth.

Pastor