Dear Pastor,

I am 33 and having a serious problem. I have two children and I am living with their father. I want to leave him, but he has 'tied' me to him. Everybody who knows about us tells me that if I want to leave him, I would have to go back to the same person who 'tied' us.

Pastor, I didn't believe that this man tied me to him. I got a visa and I planned to leave him. Everything was in place. My sister decided to pay for my ticket, then she called and told me she ran into difficulty, she didn't have the money. Another sister told me she couldn't put it on her credit card was because her credit card maxed out. My children's father told me he heard I was planning to travel but I will not get on that plane. I told him that I was not planning to go anywhere, and he called me a liar. Pastor, he was able to tell me which flight I was trying to on.

turned against him

Pastor, I am still living with him. When he lies down on me, I feel nothing because my mind is turned against him. I have a new boyfriend. He told me that he would take me somewhere to untie the knot from my children's father. He took me to the place and the mother woman told me it couldn't work unless I give her the name of my husband's grandfather and a used, red 'kerchief from my children's father. My children's father does not use a red 'kerchief, so I am still tied to him. The mother lady told me she can fix me up, and after I am free from my children's father, she can 'tie' my new boyfriend to me and he will never be able to leave me.

W.S.

Dear W.S.,

The mind is a powerful thing. You have chosen to use your mind to be engaged in foolishness. The Bible says foolishness is in the mind of a child, but you are not a child. You are only thinking and behaving childishly. However, you are not alone. There are thousands and thousands of persons who believe their lovers can 'tie' them so they will never be able to leave them, whether they have been good or bad to them.

Evidently, your children's father has not been treating you well and you want to move on. You have a right to move on. You have allowed this man to place fear in your mind by getting you to believe he has worked obeah and 'tied' you to him so you cannot leave. If you really wanted to leave this man, you could have found a place to live, go to see a lawyer, take out a restraining order against this man and stand up against him. Instead, you have been blaming your sisters for failing to help you and convincing yourself that this man has really tied you to him.

Your new boyfriend is really fanning the fire. He has taken you to see an obeah woman, and she too is trying to make a fool out of you. She is asking you to bring a red 'kerchief from your boyfriend, but she should have known (as a seer woman) that the man does not use a red 'kerchief. Therefore, can't you see that all this woman is interested in is your money?

You want to get 'untied', but she is also threatening to tie you up with this new man. Perhaps this man and the obeah woman are working together.

Pastor