Dear Pastor,

I am living in the United States of America and I am attending school here. I am only 19 years old and my father, who applied for me to come and live here, has rules and regulations that are hard to put up with, but I try. My stepmother has her 16-year-old daughter living at the house. She is not my father's daughter, but we get along and she knows New York like the back of her hand, so she took me around New York when I first got here. She also knows every trick in the book.

Her mother thinks she is an angel, but she is sexually active. And as long as I keep her secrets, she would keep mine. This girl has taught me how to cover for her. At age 14, she already had two different boyfriends and one of them was twice her age. Sometimes, I think that I am not living any life at all, but when I look back at my life in Jamaica, I am glad I didn't grow up like her. She was left on her own and used to go out on her own and she skipped classes. If you see her, she looks older than her age.

When I told her about my mother and how she is not married and still hoping to find Mr Right, she said my mother is wasting time.

Pastor, I only had sex with a Jamaican guy who is attending my school, and he is serious about me. He told me many times how much he loves me. My stepsister and I went out one evening and our boyfriends met us and were to bring us back to the same place at a certain time. And when my boyfriend brought me back, she said, "I knew it, I knew you went out to have sex. I can see it in your face." So I told her the truth.

I want to be a good girl. I don't want New York to spoil me.

C.B., New York

Dear C.B.,

This young woman has been living in New York longer than you. She has learnt how to get around the City, and she has been sexually active for a long time. It is unfortunate that you have not tried to be different. Although both of you are living in the same house, you did not have to follow in her footsteps.

Concerning this matter of keeping secrets, you will never know when she might divulge what you have spoken to her about yourself. It seems to me that you have a good father who wants the best for you. Your stepmother is naïve but she has tried.

Please understand that although you can trick your parents, you cannot trick yourself. You have to live with yourself and you will always remember the things you have done, whether good or bad. And good things have pleasant memories. But one is always afraid to talk about the bad things.

Do not encourage this young woman to be promiscuous. And please, don't follow that road. This young man who has become your boyfriend, do not allow him to prevent you from doing well in school. Encourage him to go to school also. Feel free to write me again, and take care of yourself.

Pastor