Dear Pastor,

I have been living with a man for eight years. He does not want me to work outside of the house. I got fed up because things were not going my way, so I started to send out my résumé. One day I was at home and my phone rang, it was about someone calling me for an interview, so I called my boyfriend and told him. He said that he hoped that I will not give anybody my number.

I went and did the interview. I got the job and started working. I got one day off each week. He gets two days off each week. About two months after, my employer called and offered me a higher position. When I went home I told my boyfriend and he wasn't pleased. Whenever I tell him that I am tired, he is not supportive. He has never supported me or helped me. From I got the job, he told me I am changed and nagging.

Please tell me where I am going wrong.

Fed Up

Dear Fed Up,

I am glad you got yourself a job. Don't give up your job because your man is controlling. When a woman is not working, she has to rely on her man for everything. Now you have passed that stage. Even if this man tears down the house and insists that you are not going out to work, make sure that you go. Already he is saying that you have changed. Yes, I believe that you have changed because you can put bread on the table too.

A smart man would be happy to have a working wife. A foolish man believes that if she is working outside of the home, other men would see her and date her and she would cheat. That is how jealous and controlling men think. So I repeat, don't give up your job. If he wants to leave you, let him go. But hang on in there with your job. Go back to school in the evening and get yourself an education. I wish you well. Don't disrespect him but stand up for your rights.

Pastor