Dear Pastor,

I am 17 years old and I am so confused. I need your fatherly advice. I was abused from I was growing up until early last year. I have been through so much and I was tired of my mother treating me like dirt. I was the brightest of all my mother's five children. She used to beat me for what I didn't do. I would also get a beating for the simplest things.

My mother doesn't have any understanding. I can't talk to her. Sometimes she says that she hates me, but I think that she says that because of my father. When I was 12 years old I started thinking about suicide. My father was not always been a part of my life. When I started high school, I felt insecure because I was scared that she would embarrass me like she did at junior high. In grade eight I changed schools and I met the most awesome friends who I could share my pain with, but it wasn't enough. Years passed and I still was verbally abused. I would get beating with a hose, broomstick and she would even step in my face and pour hot water on me.

I met this guy whom I could tell anything at the age of 15, but he was much older than I. My mother locked me out of the house, so I slept on someone's verandah. When my mother told my father that I was no longer a virgin, he used that information in motion. He squeezed up my breasts but I loved him so much that I forgave him. He kept doing it, so I sent him a text and told him my mind. He cursed me like a big girl, and from that we weren't friends.

I ran away from home about ten months ago and came to live with my boyfriend. I am happy with him. Pastor, my mother has changed somewhat, but I miss talking to my father. I don't know if I should let him back in my life. He hasn't given me much since I knew him, but it doesn't matter to me. I don't know what to do. My boyfriend is sending me to classes to continue my education.

Please give me your advice.

K.W., Kingston

Dear K.W.,

Your mother is indeed very cruel and ignorant. As a mother, she has failed. You will never forget how she abused you. I pray that God will help you to forgive her. I don't believe that you were a saint growing up, but that did not give her the right to abuse you. Shame on her.

Your father probably had ulterior motives for squeezing up your breasts after he was told that you were no longer a virgin. You are quite correct in letting him know that what he was doing would not be tolerated. He was not behaving as a father.

I am glad that you are attending school. Too bad that you have to be living with a man. But I hope that this man will continue to treat you well and will help you to get an education.

Pastor