Dear Pastor,

My woman friend and I are living together but we are having some problems. We don't have any children together, but I have one daughter who is 15. This woman does not like to see my daughter come to the house. I told her if my daughter can't come to the house, then she can't stay.

This woman has three children, none of whom lives with her. When I met her she was on the street. I took her off the street. I didn't intend to have a relationship with her as she was supposed to be my helper, but things happened. She worked her way in and now she is comfortable.

My 15-year-old daughter is the only daughter I have. The relationship with her mother and I ended years ago. The problem I am having started when my daughter came to spend a weekend at my home. She came into our bed and we were talking. We both fell asleep and this woman came and saw my daughter sleeping in the bed and raised hell, cursed me like a dog and cursed off my daughter, accusing both of us of having an affair.

I was so angry; I told her she should pack her things and go. She left and came back the following day and begged me pardon. Since that day, I found myself not relating to her, and my daughter says she is not coming back to the house as long as she is there. I cannot afford to lose my daughter because of this woman.

I have not found this woman to be a thief and I have had other women work for me who have stolen from me, but this woman has never stolen anything from me. I know that for sure. But to accuse me of having a relationship with my daughter is too much to take.

I don't know what to do because she has been with me for four years and she does not have anything.

H. B.

Dear HB,

May I suggest that you seriously consider ending the relationship with this woman. If you believe in family life, she has to go. Your daughter will never accept her as a stepmother. If she felt that your daughter and you were doing something wrong, then she could have spoken to you quietly. She should not have given you the impression that you were having sex with your daughter, she was out of order. What she should have done was to ask your daughter to go to her room.

My brother, you are not comfortable with her anymore. So go and discuss the matter with a lawyer and let him or her help you to decide how you can compensate this lady for the years she has worked for you and shared her life with you in a common- law relationship.

Pastor