Dear Pastor,

I am 19 and attending university in America. I started in August. It was hard for me to leave my boyfriend. He is 25 years old. He has been a very good man to me. My parents are here in the States, but I am not close to them because of school. My boyfriend was planning to come to the States for Christmas but his mommy is not well, so he wants to stay close to her during her illness. Pastor, I understand, but I am weeping inside because I was hoping to see him.

He wants me to come and be with him for Christmas and he has even bought the ticket. But my parents are against that. They say that I should be with them for Christmas and not go to Jamaica to be with my boyfriend. I know they are right, but I am crying inside.

Do you think that I should ignore what my parents are saying and I should go to Jamaica to be with my boyfriend for Christmas? Tell me the honest truth and I will listen and obey you.

Love you, pastor.

R.W.,

Dear R.W.,

It seems to me that the love that your boyfriend and you have for each other is genuine. You are fortunate to have a man who loves his mother and wants to stay close to her during her illness. That is a good man. He doesn't want to be off the island and hear that his mother has passed on. He would find it difficult to deal with the thought that he should have been here but wasn't. I want you to appreciate that and start drying your tears. You got a good man.

Now the question, whether you should stay with your parents for Christmas or go to your boyfriend in Jamaica. I believe that you should stay with your parents. Christmas is a time for family. Good parents like to see their children around them, whether they are married or single. What is Christmas dinner without children and grandchildren around? I am sure that your boyfriend will understand why you have decided to be with your parents.

Strike a compromise with your boyfriend. Tell him that you will come to Jamaica for Spring break. Tell him during the Christmas season you will talk to him longer on the phone and assure him of your love and appreciation.

Pastor