Dear Pastor,

Thank you for the good work you are doing. I read in your column in the Star about a young man who said his girlfriend left him because his penis was small. I really feel for him because I was married to my husband of 20 years, and because he had a small penis, we never had sexual intercourse. All we did was oral sex. Oral sex was good but, at the end of it, I wanted to have real sex with him.

Pastor, I tried everything to help him to have self-esteem. I tried counselling and nothing worked. He still thinks it is too small, so I gave up. I think men need to be honest and open at the beginning when they start dating. They should let women know they have a small penis. If a woman really loves the man, she will stay because sex is not about the size of a man's penis.

By the way, we ended up getting divorced because I felt he was selfish, since he was not the one who was receiving the penis. It would be up to me to know how it felt.

I had another relationship and the man has a small penis too, and the best sex I ever had was with him. He too was ashamed of his size, and I told him just to be thankful for what he has and make the best use of it.

Our men need to be proud of whatever size they have and know it is a gift from God, and they need to find the right women who will accept their size. Not every woman loves a big penis.

Keep up the good work. God bless you, pastor.

M.C.

Dear M.C.,

I hope what you have shared with the public will help men who are convinced they have small penises, and are unable to satisfy their spouses. You are aware, I am sure, that many women believe if a man is not large, he cannot be a good lover. So what I am trying to say is some women cause men to loose self-confidence because the women mock them and tell them they are too small and need something bigger.

Your husband believed he was totally inadequate to meet your sexual needs, so he resorted to oral sex only. That went on for a period of 25 years. You couldn't take it any longer because you were yearning for the "real thing." Perhaps, if this man had tried, he would have been able to manage, but he didn't.

I hope that everything will go well for you in the future. You did not mention whether this other man and you are married. I trust you are.

Pastor