Dear Pastor,

I have an issue that I need your help with. I am eight months pregnant and I am living with my boyfriend. He has a 9-month-old daughter with another lady. This woman also has a three-year-old daughter also. She was recently arrested for physically and mentally abusing her eldest child. She used a shoe to hit the little girl in the head, which resulted in her needing several stitches. There were also new and old bruises all over her body. The matter is before the court. The kids are currently in temporary custody with the girl's mother. No injury was done to the nine-month-old child.

My boyfriend wants to take his daughter away from them. I love the idea, but, at the same time, I know it is going to be very difficult for me to take care of a newborn baby and another baby. I suggested that he allow the baby to remain with her grandmother and we continue to support her like we always do. But he is reluctant and says he just doesn't want anything to do with them, and this is a good time for him to get sole custody of his child.

I am 25 and, when I have my baby, she will be my first child. My mother is not living near to us so I really won't have much help and guidance. I am already scared about having and taking care of my baby by myself, much less taking care of two babies. I know it can be done, but I am worried that I won't be able to cope with the demands of a newborn and a nine-month-old.

What do you think, Pastor? Was my suggestion to him wrong or insensitive? I am torn because I know everything is going to be left up to me. He works all the time, so I am going to be their primary caretaker. What do you suggest? Should she stay with her grandmother or should we take her?

I am awaiting your response. Thank you for reading my letter.

P.K., U.S.A

Dear P.K.,

I suggest that you stand your ground and let your boyfriend know that you are not prepared to care for the child who is presently with her grandmother. This should not cause an argument between both of you. He should be able to see why you would prefer not to have the child at this time. You are not being unreasonable. You are exercising common sense. Reason with him, but stand your ground.

Pastor