I am 55 years old and I have been living with a man for twenty-five years. We have five children together. I am living in hell with this man. He is a taxi driver and he has all different types of women, even the older school girls are his friends. They travel in his car for free. But the biggest problem that I am having is with his Indian girlfriend.

She calls him anytime at nights and he gets up and goes to her. One night I answered the phone and told her not to call back and this man was so mad with me. If my two older children, who are boys, were not here, he would beat me. He told me things that made me hate him. He told me that I am washed up and stretched out and I have no use and all the sweetness is gone.

Pastor, this man took me as a virgin and I have never cheated on him. And now he puts other women ahead of me. The Indian girl is eating him out. Last year Christmas, he bought her a stove. And all I wanted from him was an iron and he didn't give it to me.

I am doing days work and, if I couldn't help myself, I don't know what would happen, because all he gives me is money for food. He said all the sweetness is gone out of me, and yet, when he comes home he still wants to have sex with me. And if I said no, he would burst up my underwear.

I am begging you to tell me what to do.

E.P.

Dear E.P.,

This man is very disrespectful. He is a wicked and unjust man. Frankly, by trying to disgrace you, he is disgracing himself. You are the mother of his children and, instead of cursing you, he should honour you for being a good woman.

Do not allow what he says to you to break your spirit. This man has no shame. He bought a stove for his Indian girlfriend and then he comes home to eat from you. His Indian girlfriend should be cooking for him. She is the one who got the bigger gift. He is a worthless good-for-nothing man. He thinks that he can run the world, but he will soon run out of steam. And his Indian girlfriend and others will laugh at him.

Don't allow this man to beat you. Remember, you should report him to the police immediately if he does that to you. You have given your best days to this man. But, if at all you can find a place to go, don't be afraid to take the plunge. Make sure you discuss what you want to do with your children.

Pastor