I am having a problem. I am in love with my uncle's son. He is 25 years old and I am 21. It is not only that we are in love, we have been having sex. I am at college and so is he. I live on campus but he doesn't. My roommate knows that we are cousins. And when he comes to see me, it is all right with her.

One weekend, she wasn't there and we were studying together and he decided to sleep over and we found ourselves hugging and kissing. I tried to tell him no but I lost control and we had sex. He told me that he has always loved me and I told him that I always loved him too but not in that way. That happened on a Friday night and he went away and came back the Saturday evening and we had sex again. This time when he came back he walked with condoms and we had sex again.

I don't know what to do, pastor, but I have fallen in love with him. He says that we should get married after college. Sometimes when I think about him and what we did, I shiver. I also think about what my father would say. He has a babymother. She is a teacher. He used to tell me that he loves her, but now he is telling me that he loves me more.

I don't have a boyfriend. I used to have one, but we broke up. I told my cousin that he should try and forget me, but every time I don't hear from him, I find myself calling him.

Please don't condemn me. I was just out of control. I used to hear about cousins having sex, but I never thought that would happen to me. I wish I could go far away and forget what happened.

Please give me your advice.

U.D.

Dear U.D.,

You have made a very big mistake, but I believe that your cousin was very deceptive. He told you that he always loved you. I have no doubt that he is speaking the truth. But he should have known that a man has to control himself and not to take advantage of a woman or situation. What happened between the both of you wasn't sudden. He planned it, but you were naïve. He didn't have to sleep with you that night. He turned you on and you lost control.

The things you have mentioned that happened on the Saturday night between the both of you, I cannot print. I do know for sure that your cousin has messed you up and I repeat, he was deceptive and you must never allow him to touch you again.

His child's mother has not done him any wrong. He should stick with her. He is talking about wanting the both of you to get married. Don't even give what he is saying a second thought. Tell him that what happened between the both of you was a big mistake on your part, but on his part, it was wilful. Tell him that you don't want a curse to follow you. Whenever he calls, don't entertain him on the phone and do not go anywhere he invites you. Tell him not to come back to see you on the dorm.

Pastor