RSS Feed
Follow us on Twitter
Star YouTube Channel
Dear Pastor,
I am a regular reader of your column and I have learnt a lot from it. I am 18 years old and my mother has five of us. She tried to raise us as decent people. I have two older sisters and they have children. I have a boyfriend and he is helping me, but he is very wild. Every time I go to visit him, I can see that other women were at his house. And he is always telling me that these girls are just his friends.
One evening I went to spend the night with him, but he was not expecting me. When I knocked he didn't want to let me in, but I was determined not to leave. He admitted that another girl was there and she was going to spend the night there. I told him that I was going to spend the night also and I was very vexed. When I went in, he introduced me to the girl as his girlfriend. I asked her how long she knew him and she said about two weeks and he invited her to come and stay with him for the weekend. He was cooking and he was very nice to me and I was still very vexed. I asked him where the girl was going to sleep and he said that he only has one bed.
When the time came for me to go to bed, I tidied myself and went to lie down on the bed. He said that the girl could also stay on the bed with me and he will sleep on the couch. I told him that I did not want to sleep on the same bed with the girl because I didn't know her. I told him I would sleep on the couch. He went on the bed, and because I didn't want him to have sex with the girl, I went between the both of them.
When the girl fell asleep, I had sex with him and then I fell asleep. When I woke up and I didn't see him, I went out in the living room and saw him having sex with the other girl on the couch. I started to quarrel and he told me that he couldn't help it.
Pastor, I don't know what to do. I love this man. He is the second man in my life. He means everything to me. Every week he gives me money. I don't know what in his head. The way I feel about him is different from the way I used to feel about my first boyfriend. I used to have to beg my first boyfriend for money. I don't have to beg this one.
I found out that the other girl has a boyfriend and he is a law officer. I told her that if she comes back to my boyfriend's house, I am going to call her boyfriend and tell him. She and I are the same age. I hope she will see this letter and stay away from my boyfriend.
H.T., St. Catherine
Dear H.T.,
Your boyfriend doesn't have any class. He is a careless man and he is putting his life at great risk. He didn't know much about this girl, yet he invited her to spend the weekend with him. She didn't know much about him either, yet she consented to do so. When you went to the house and you realised that he had another woman there, you should have left. You stayed because you believe that you are his number-one woman.
If he respected you, he would have taken this girl to wherever she came from, or at least make arrangements for her to stay somewhere else. He was glad that both of you decided to stay with him that night. The girl fell asleep and you had sex with him. He probably didn't sleep at all that night. And while you were sleeping, he was able to have sex with the other girl.
This girl is just as bad as your boyfriend. She has her intimate boyfriend, yet she went to your boyfriend's house to spend a weekend with him. I know that you say that this man supports you well. However, I hope that he will understand that he is not a man that can be trusted, and that you should not expect him to only have you as his woman. And I would not suggest that you call this girl's boyfriend and tell him what she has done or is doing.
You are 18 years old. Please don't allow this man to get you pregnant. Try to get an education.
Pastor
