Dear Pastor,

I am a regular reader of your column and I have some concerns so I am writing for your advice. I am married for 2 1/2 years but we do not have children. My husband and I have good jobs. We love each other. My husband is 27 and I am 25.

My husband is able to make love for a long time without getting tired. Whenever we go to bed and he touches me, I know he wants sex. I don't know what to do to satisfy him. He takes too long to ejaculate.

What should I do? Am I to be blamed? I asked my husband if he is using something that makes him stay so long and he said he is not.

G. St James

Dear G.,

I must remind you that your husband is a young man and to assure you that what he is doing is normal. Yes, very much so.

You can learn how to satisfy your husband. It might not happen overnight, but you will learn. You should learn that having sexual intercourse is only a part of lovemaking. There are many things a couple can do to give them sexual pleasure.

You should learn to prolong foreplay. Some men are in a hurry to insert the penis into the vagina. You will have to teach him not to go there too soon.

Shock him by taking control. Plan ahead what you would do to him that will cause him to climax and not tire you out. Learn to do positions that will cause your husband to feel exhausted after he ejaculates. Yes, there are positions that a couple can do that will cause a man to roll over and sleep. Learn to give him exotic massage. Find out his sweet spots.

Men are not multiorgasmic so, if you learn to give your husband a 'good one' he will sleep and allow you to sleep too.

Buy a book and learn how to please him.

Pastor