I am so confused. The man who I have never had sex with believes that I am a virgin. The first time that I had sex was with my sister's boyfriend. I was 16 years old and I was taking care of my sister's baby, and he came into the house while my sister was not there and forced me to have sex with him. I never told my sister, but it didn't happen again. But every time I remember about it, I feel ashamed and sick.

When my sister got married she wanted me to be one of her bridesmaids, but I didn't do it because of him. The man who gives me money is encouraging me to go back to school. If he asks me for sex, I would have to give him and only have sex with him alone.

Do you think that I will have to tell him about my past and that I am not a virgin? You are doing a good work and I am going to read the Star to see my letter.

L.F., Manchester

Dear L.F.,

It is only a matter of time before this man who gives you money demands sex from you. Right now he is just playing along and causing you to believe that he is a loving and caring man. The other man who has had sex with you twice, you claim you love him too. My question to you is this, is it the sex you love or is it the man you love? How is it that he has never given you any financial help at all? Is it that you have never asked him or he doesn't have much?

I am not here suggesting that when a man has a girlfriend he has to always give her money. But a good man knows that his girlfriend would have needs and from time to time he should give her money.

You are behaving as a little 'ginnal'. You are taking money from the other guy and giving him the impression that you are an untouched virgin, and you are not. What you are doing is not good and you should decide which direction you wish to go. You need an education. Perhaps if your parents are unable to send you back to school, you should take up the offer from this man and go back to school. The time may come when you will have to tell him, that you are not a virgin and you are sorry to deceive him but you don't have to go into details.

The sooner you end the relationship with the guy with whom you are having sex, the better it would be for you.

Pastor